双语笑话：你活不成了 You're Not Going to Make it
更新：2014-09-25 22:37:15 | 来源：转载 | 阅读：68
标签：双语
Your husband is very sick, " the doctor said, "but there are three things you can do to ensure his survival. First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day. Next, give him a stress-free environment , and don't complain about anything. Finally, make passionate love to him every day.
On the drive home the husband asked, "What did the doctor say?"
"I'm sorry, " she said, "but you're not going to make it."
一个人得了重病，妻子伴随他去看医生。检查过后，医生示意病人的妻子到走廊见他。
“你丈夫病得很重，”医生说，“但有三件事可保住他的性命。第一，一日三餐，要营养美味。第二，给他一个轻松的环境，不要抱怨。第三，每天都对他倾注炽热的爱。”
在驱车回家的路上，丈夫问道：“医生说了什么？”
“很遗憾，”妻子说，“你活不成了。”
双语笑话：亲爱的，没什么新鲜事
A history teacher and his wife were sitting at a table, the wife asked Anything new at work, and he replied, no, I am teaching History.
一位历史老师和他的妻子在吃饭。妻子问到：工作上有什么新鲜事吗？丈夫回答说：没有，我是教历史的。
双语笑话：暂时还不能回答的问题
This story is told of a browbeating counsel，who habitually endeavored to terrorize his opponent's witnesses.
这个故事讲的是一个咄咄逼人的辩护律师，他惯于尽量去恐吓对方的证人。
One witness rather tended to preface his replies with lengthy explanations.
有一个证人有点倾向于在回答问题之前做冗长的解释。
"I want 'yes' or 'no', "thundered counsel. "There is no need for you to argue the point!"
“我要你回答‘是’或者‘不是’，”辩护律师怒喝道： “你没有必要就这个问题进行争论。”
"But there are some questions which cannot be answered by 'yes' or 'no', "mildly responded the witness.
“可是有些问题无法用‘是’或者‘不是’来回答。”这位证人温和地回敬他。
"There are not!" snapped the lawyer.
“不存在这样的问题！”律师厉声打断他。
"Oh，" said the witness, "answer this then: Have you ceased beating your wife?"
“噢，”证人说：“那么请你回答这个问题：你停止打你老婆了吗？”
双语笑话：Asking for a Raise 要求加薪
At the radio station where I worked, the manager called me into his office to preview a new sound-effects package we were considering purchasing. He closed the door so we wouldn't bother people in the outer office.
After listening to a few routine sound effects, we started playing around with low moans, maniacal（疯狂的） screams, hysterical（歇斯底里的） laughter, pleading and gunshots. When I finally opened the door and passed the manager's secretary, she looked up and inquired, Asking for a raise again?
我在一家电台工作。经理把我叫进他的办公室，让我预试一下我们准备购买的一套新的音响效果设备。他关上门，以免打扰外面办公室的人。
听了几个常规的音响效果后，我们开始试听低声的呻吟，狂乱的尖叫，歇斯底里的大笑，哀求声和枪声。最后我开门出去，从经理秘书旁边经过时，她抬起头问道：又要求加薪了？
